How many times do you hear newly-weds say that they remember little about their wedding day? This seems to be a phenomenon that affects brides particularly. Months are spent planning every last detail of the day, the assistants you would like to help you and the guests you would like to invite, but how much consideration have you given to the most important guests of all – yourselves!
There are lots of things that can be thought about in advance that will help you notice more things about your day, helping you build memories that will last a lifetime.
There are a variety of reasons for brides feeling that the day of their wedding day went by in a blur. The day could start in utter chaos; everyone around you will be feeling excited and nervous, they will each have their own agendas and will be mentally tugging at your skirt for attention. This stress is heightened by the amount of effort that has gone into the preparations for this day. Everyone has made a large investment of time and money, and would like to see everything running as smoothly as possible. Perfection, however, is hard to achieve, even after months of careful planning. Everyone will be hoping that your day is as near perfect as possible.
All this is going on around you, alongside the inner tensions and nerves that are to be expected by a bride on the morning of her wedding. Concerns as to whether everyone will find the venue, whether the caterers will turn up and the million other worries that needlessly concern an already nervous mind. With a start as frantic as this, it is hardly surprising that brides feel in a spin before the ceremony even begins.
The solution to this problem, as with most others concerning weddings, is in planning and communication. To cut down as much stress as possible, plan from as far ahead as possible. Decide as a couple, right from the start, the kind of day that you would like. Try mapping it on a large piece of paper, so you can add phone numbers and contacts to it as you go along. Make the map the front page in your planning folder, so you keep your original plan at the front of your mind.
Show the plan to anyone who is involved in the planning of your day, right at the start of negotiations. This should mean that the people around you understand the kind of event you are working towards. By keeping your wishes in mind, you will find that when you get to the morning of your wedding, you will find yourself on the brink of your ideal day and not somebody else’s.
When looking at the way the day will evolve, plan some time by yourself with no interruptions. Take a moment’s peace to consider the way you feel and the steps you are about to take. This need not be a scary experience, try to find some calm rather than feeling apprehensive about the forthcoming events. By taking a moment to breathe, you will allow your mind space to remember the way things look and feel.
Also, while you are in the stages leading up to the day, take time to examine the things that cause you the most stress. If a certain person makes you feel tense, try to plan to avoid them on the morning of your wedding. If this is not possible, assign someone else to deal with them. This also applies to a particular aspect of the wedding that you feel most nervous about.
As the months go by, you may feel that there is an element that is annoying you about the day. If the situation does not resolve itself as the big day draws closer, plan to avoid having to deal with it on the day by designating someone else to take care of it for you. This will ensure that your mind is kept relaxed, leaving you able to enjoy your preparations.
On the morning of your wedding, try to stop occasionally and evaluate the way that you are feeling. It is important to feel like a bride, whatever that means to you. Don’t allow people to fuss over you, as this could cause you to feel more flustered than is necessary.
When you arrive at the ceremony venue, take a moment to compose yourself. It is likely that you will be walking into the room or church, either accompanied or alone, and you will feel more confident if you can stand tall and make an impression on your entrance. Take a moment to feel the part of a bride, don’t rush!
Here, and throughout the day it is most important to breathe. This may sound obvious, but try to be aware of breathing during the day. Deep breaths will help you to feel more relaxed and able to take in the scene around you. Your memory will function more effectively if you are calm; it will be able to take more in and you won’t feel as if you’re in a daylong whirl.
Try also to take a moment to look around the room, especially at your reception. There will be lots of scenes that the videographer may not capture, such as young bridesmaids yawning or couples having minor disagreements whilst dancing. All of these things go to make up your day, so look around and seize the snapshots that will form your personal memories of your day.
Equally important is the need to connect with your new husband. Take a few moments to have a chat and share the way you are feeling. This way you will share the experience together. You may have noticed different things that you can talk about; meaning that you will be more likely to remember details of the day later.
It may be worth considering the amount of alcohol you intend to consume during the day. While it would be a shame not to have a drink or two to celebrate you special day, try to avoid starting too early. Many brides are persuaded by their bridesmaids to open a bottle of champagne while they are getting ready. This will probably mean a first drink around 11am, much earlier than most people would consider under normal circumstances.
Don’t allow the desire to celebrate get in the way of the way you will remember your wedding day. Instead compromise, have a Bucks Fizz instead! By controlling your alcohol intake throughout the day, you will enjoy the experience of getting married, and still be in a fit state to enjoy your first night as husband and wife.
Above all, take time throughout the day to stop and absorb the atmosphere. Many friends will be around you, many hours of preparation will be coming to a climax, sit back and enjoy them! This way you will feel truly a part of your own wedding.